Trump Declassifies Habeas

This just in to the Habeas News Network Desk . . . .

Using the “Think Method” popularized by Prof. Harold Hill in Iowa in 1912, former U.S. President Donald Trump has used his mental powers to officially declassify A (Habeas) Chorus Line. According to an unidentified National Security Agency official, who spoke on the condition of anonymity:

This means that you will be able to attend A (Habeas) Chorus Line’s shows without fear of prosecution for unauthorized exposure to national security materials.

— Unidentified NSA spokesperson

The former President himself is reported to have said:

I don’t even know how I did it. I just thought it. Or I think I thought it. Or I think that if I had thought about it, I’d think it. In any event, I think you will be pardoned, and I think I will be, too, because I thought it. I think.

— The ever-thoughtful former President